And then God said,
"No need to worry.
Remember the magic I can make
With simple things like
Water, light, and air?"
~ Ariana K. MacPherson
This was a big month. Two eclipses and a potent full moon. Lots of grief, lots of old patterns coming to the surface, lots of fear and anger and self pity, lots of energy moving up and around and through pretty much every woman (and man) who crossed my path. Of course this is uncomfortable and for many of us the first impulse is to get out of it. To wriggle out of the pain, the uncertainty, the fear and grief with all our might. So we resort to those old patterns, those threadbare tools we cling desperately to in order to numb the pain: blame, self pity, fear, obsessive thinking, busy-ness, food, sex, booze. All to avoid feeling and listening closely to whatever is bubbling up from deep down within us. The thing is: It doesn't work. Trust me - I have tried it all.
This month I was faced with a lot of my own old patterns, my self-defeating fear that keeps me stuck on loop in my mind and in my life, unable to take a step forward despite the increasing pain of staying stuck. In a Breathwork session with Erin Telford this month she reminded us of a question her teacher asks often: "Are you waiting to live your life?" These kinds of questions usually hit me like a punch in the gut, and this time was no exception. Usually this would bring up lots of feelings of inadequacy, fear that it's too late, that I've lost my chance to live the big, beautiful life I dreamed of as a girl. But this time it was not that at all. Rather, it became very clear that there is no "someday," there is only today, this beautiful life right in front of me, at my fingertips. The small, precious, gorgeous moments of grace and light, grief and sorrow, beauty and magic that lie in my daughter's golden hair, my partner's warm embrace, the light of the sun, and the sound of my mother's voice. Of showing up to my job, my art, my body, my God, and myself fully present, fully human, and fully alive.
So this month, as we move into and out of the last eclipse of the year (August 11th), we will gather together to delve into the things that keep us blocked and how to get out of our own way in order to create space within ourselves so that we can live and shine TODAY. Join me for the August Women's Circle on the 18th and the second session of our Healing Love series on the 21st. We return to ourselves through each other, and community healing is a potent elixir.
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