How blessed to watch the sun rise and set
Every day for a fortnight;
To watch the pink, orange, and purple sky
Wake up and fall back to sleep again
Over a horizon of rolling hills, ancient mountains, and wild sea.
To drive across a countryside spotted with speckled cows, lazy sheep, and brawny horses.
To be chased by baboons and to watch eland, ostrich, and flamingos
Make their way across the great wild just outside our window.
The words pour out of me like a flood.
In writing I fall into myself.
I remember the light between the leaves,
Shining in flares across the sky;
Us together, walking through the hills outside this quiet village,
Climbing to the end of the world,
And wading into clear blue water.
Oh, how I love you –
Mother, father, sister,
Husband to be and
Where have you gone,
Leaving our hearts and home quiet,
Empty without you?
Why does this world exist in so many pieces
Far apart from one another, and yet our hearts
Do not split that way
(Or do they?)
My heart is split and scattered into a million pieces, I swear
I cannot even count all of the places and people
That hold pieces of me in their hands.
Is it meant to be this way? Always missing somebody
As my daughter (who is three) remarked?
And yet it is this way anyhow.
All of you over there, across the Atlantic
Getting on with things as I do here at the tip of Africa,
At the foot of this giant mountain
And at the shore of this endless sea.
I have no choice
But to carry on
Grieving the loss of you again and again
And giving praise for you at the same time.
Thank God for love
Thank God for grief
Thank God for this open heart
Scattered across the sea.