The End of April


How blessed to watch the sun rise and set

Every day for a fortnight;

To watch the pink, orange, and purple sky

Wake up and fall back to sleep again

Over a horizon of rolling hills, ancient mountains, and wild sea.


To drive across a countryside spotted with speckled cows, lazy sheep, and brawny horses.

To be chased by baboons and to watch eland, ostrich, and flamingos

Make their way across the great wild just outside our window.



The words pour out of me like a flood.

In writing I fall into myself. 

I remember the light between the leaves,

Shining in flares across the sky;

Us together, walking through the hills outside this quiet village,

Climbing to the end of the world,

And wading into clear blue water.



Oh, how I love you –

Mother, father, sister,

Husband to be and

New brother.

Where have you gone,

Leaving our hearts and home quiet,

Empty without you?


Why does this world exist in so many pieces

Far apart from one another, and yet our hearts

Do not split that way

(Or do they?)


My heart is split and scattered into a million pieces, I swear

I cannot even count all of the places and people

That hold pieces of me in their hands.


Is it meant to be this way? Always missing somebody

As my daughter (who is three) remarked?

And yet it is this way anyhow.

All of you over there, across the Atlantic

Getting on with things as I do here at the tip of Africa,

At the foot of this giant mountain

And at the shore of this endless sea.


I have no choice

But to carry on

Grieving the loss of you again and again

And giving praise for you at the same time.


Thank God for love

Thank God for grief

Thank God for this open heart

Scattered across the sea.